Epiphany

Around 4:15 this evening, I realized that I, severely mistaken, was attending a senior-citizen yoga class.  I partook anyway and sweat a lot, stretching my lower back and neck.  It was a bunch of senior citizens and me... and one overweight twelve-year-old.
Lying on my back, feet flexed, legs lifted up onto a metal chair, staring up at the stretch-marked ceiling, hearing old people and one overweight twelve-year-old breathe, I had an epiphany.  Actually, today was jam-packed with epiphanies.  But, this epiphany was special as I was exhaling into my hips, just like the teacher said to do. 
I can't recall my epiphany at this moment.
I lost my wallet today.
My dad came home from the hospital.
I shared a joint with my mom and talked about Bournemouth and her brother and willow trees.

Witches and Water

"Let yourself melt away," she instructs the class.  We abide and melt away.  She walks across the studio, stops, dims the lights, and walks back to the front.  "And breathe." 

Melting away feels funny and it tickles my stomach.  I'm seeping into the cushions of my flat mat and boiling through the wood floor like acid--- all the while, breathing rhythmically, in tune with the rest of the class.

"Clear your head."  Our heads are clear.

"On your next exhale, I want you to fall even deeper, and melt away even more."

We melt like popsicles.  And this is nothingness.  Peaceful, good old nothingness.

Downward Facing Dog

Yoga class and the smell of feet and the sound of deep inhales and OMs.  I like it because there's a studio, jam-packed with pretty girls and mid-life crisis men who can't stretch too far.  That's not why I like it, but it helps.  And the music too--- new agey riffs with lots of xylophone and keyboard.  You escape from the aesthetics: the organic spandex, the vegans, the out-of-date boom box vibrating on the floor... and you just breathe and stretch and the brick wall is ahead of you, but beyond that brick and mortar is space that continues indefinitely.

Yeah, the spirituality is a bit surface, but it's well-intentioned and you can't really complain.  And after an hour and a half of downward dog and plank position, colors are a little brighter and, at least for the moment, everything is aligned.

So, I'm on a mission...
I'm seeking balance.  New Balance; I own a pair with inserts because I walk on the outsides of my feet and there's no balance otherwise.  But, balance can be attained if a sturdy ground is laid.  And, I plan to investigate this further.

You put your hands to your heart and bow your head and breathe Namaste.